You don’t have to wait for difficult times to come out of them being better people. Every day is a good time to give the best of ourselves, every moment is appropriate to act correctly.
Sigmund Freud pointed out that science has not yet designed a medicine as powerful as kind words. If we ask ourselves how to be a better person, the answer is not always easy, but one thing is clear: striving towards this end, setting ourselves this goal, has a transforming effect, both for those around us and for ourselves.
Traditionally, it has been philosophy that has dealt with defining this existential competence that, more than a purpose, we could almost define as an aspiration. We all hope to be a little better every day. We often tell ourselves that every experience, positive or adverse, should help us improve as human beings.
Sometimes we succeed and at other times we return to that starting point in which there is no progress. However, as Søren Kierkegaard rightly pointed out , the key is not to give up, the secret is to continue harboring positive thoughts despite suffering, despite existential contradictions. Walking towards the future is joining forces to always give a little more of ourselves.
Keys on how to be a better person
When it comes to delving into how to be a better person, we can base ourselves on different areas. Anthropology, philosophy and psychology are those disciplines that have been most concerned with defining this dimension. We are not, therefore, before the classic subject that interests only positive psychology . Actually, the idea of surpassing ourselves and being better is a concern shared by multiple disciplines.
On the other hand, there is a detail that we must consider. That goal should be a daily aspiration because, in reality, said task will never be considered finished. We will always be flawed and fallible creatures trying to be better . There will not be a day that we do not realize that there is something about ourselves that we should develop, correct or change. Being aware of it is already an achievement.
Be better according to philosophy
Aristotle pointed out that all people have the capacity to be good and virtuous. However, kindness is a habit that is exercised and can become a habit. These would be some keys:
- Be prudent. Prudence is related to the ability to reflect, to meditate before making a decision, to learn to treat others with respect and appreciation.
- Temperance (as a synonym for emotional control). Knowing how to master internal realities such as anger, rage, the ego or the need for power are essential to be someone noble.
- Justice. Being fair in everything we do, having a sense of respect, of what is right and what is wrong is essential to knowing how to be a better person.
- Strength. Every man or woman must harbor within them an adequate dose of bravery, of courage to stand up for what is right.
What anthropology tells us
Oliver Scott Curry is an anthropologist at Oxford University and a fellow at the Institute for Cognitive and Evolutionary Anthropology. In a work published in the Current Anthropology magazine , he addresses what issues determine how to be a better person. These are dimensions that Dr. Curry defines as moral rules and that have been studied in 60 countries. They are the following:
- Worry about the people we appreciate . Being able to apply behaviors that benefit them, that guarantee their happiness is key
- Help our community.
- Being able to appreciate favors, and what is better: return them.
- Be brave people capable of defending their values.
- Respect people, whoever they are.
- Being able to share our resources.
- Don’t envy what others have.
How to be a better person according to psychology
Figures like Abraham Maslow or Martin Seligman approached this topic in an interesting, practical and useful way. Being a better person forces us to take a journey through areas such as emotional intelligence , gratitude and that will to achieve authentic self-realization with which to aspire to give the best of ourselves in every circumstance.
Let’s know those areas in which we should focus.
Dimensions in which to work to be better
- Self-knowledge. Knowing ourselves is the existential threshold and our main purpose at all times. Getting to know each other, getting in touch with our authentic self, is the rudder that will guide us on our journey to be better.
- Practice acceptance . Learn to accept people for who they are, something like this will prevent you from suffering. It assumes that there are realities in life that cannot be changed, they must be accepted.
- Control your emotions and let yourself act defensively before the world . No one is to blame for what happens to you, you are responsible for yourself and you must act by controlling your emotions. You must also be able to answer what worries you or makes you calm in an intelligent way.
- Forgive, thank, acknowledge . Knowing how to forgive (and forgive ourselves), learning to appreciate what surrounds us and recognizing the good that surrounds us is an act that helps us to be better.
- Make use of empathy . Few dimensions improve our coexistence like the social glue that is empathy.
- Be compassionate and self-pitying. Compassion is a double bind dimension, it must act on us and also on others. Thanks to it, we now respect others and develop proactive behaviors aimed at improving the lives of those around us. Likewise, nothing is as important for well-being as compassionate dialogue with oneself.
To conclude, it does not matter which approach we stay with, with the philosophical, the anthropological or the psychological. Each discipline is the backbone of common dimensions, doors that we must cross to impregnate ourselves with adequate virtues and resources to be better. And let’s remember, that task is never finished…