How to Handle Uncertainty in Relationships and Dating

After a painful 75-minute Relationship and Dating trip, I finally get to work. I refill my drink Relationship Uncertainty and take off my winter coat, scarf, hat, and gloves. Discovering that I have a back-to-back.  Meetings for the majority of the day I saw my boss send me an email. For a quarterly company assessment, he requires data. The email is marked as urgent by a red exclamation point. I get ready to reply, but I stop myself because there's something. Even more urgent that needs to be dealt with.

My spreadsheet Relationship Uncertainty is already open. Every row corresponds to a day that I have ever seen my partner. It dates back to when we used to get together for coffee following a yoga session, even before we started dating. I marked the column next to today's date with an "X" because I saw my boyfriend last night. The following cell receives three of us because we had sex. I would have entered two had we only kissed. One X indicates that although we saw one another, there was no physical contact. Fortunately, that doesn't happen frequently. I choose our activities from the dropdown menu in the activity section. For instance, a yoga class, a walk, or dinner. Freeform Relationship Uncertainty text is bad for data analysis, so I made a dropdown so I could organize it all afterward. However, I can put any worries I had about our encounter in the notes column.

According to my therapist, this tracking tendency is unhealthy and indicative of relationship OCD. She advises me to cease. Although I tend to agree that this habit is healthy, it seems a shame to quit now because there is so much information available and it must serve some good function. I can now determine trends: Do we communicate more or less? Do we have sex more or less frequently? When do I see him the most frequently? I could put together our relationship's quarterly evaluation and use a color-coded method to monitor its health. I could tell my lover about it so we could discuss our strengths and potential. We could constantly be conscious of how our relationship was doing at any one time. It strikes me as brilliance. I would develop a relationship analysis app if I had more time.

For the first year of our relationship, that was my morning routine.

I was frequently overcome by anxiety as I tried to predict where things were. We're going and reassure me that the relationship was stable. Ironically, I also concluded that keeping track of every interaction was a really bad habit. My data showed me some encouraging patterns, but I was still uneasy and unsure of where we stood. I was seeking quantifiable proof that everything would be alright or, more precisely, that I would be alright.

Consider some additional information. We are aware that in the West end, divorce occurs in around half of all marriages. Any logical person would opt to be married even though they. Knew it was a coin toss as to whether they would stay together or have to go through it. An expensive and emotionally taxing legal process to divide their possessions and children. The chances are simply not favorable. Furthermore, we have no idea how content the other 50% are. But many of us still get married or get into long-term relationships despite the statistics.

We have a deep-seated need to be accepted and connected to others. For our species to continue existing, we are built to pass on our DNA to the following generation. We were created to interact and reproduce. Because of this, likely, we occasionally believe that we require a mate to thrive. My spreadsheet was an effort to verify the probability of my survival.

Fortunately, our survival is no longer in danger and shouldn't be. Taken into consideration when starting or continuing a relationship. A healthy, interdependent relationship where both parties have room to.  A relationship with a life-or-death mentality. The result will be codependence and resentment. Nobody wants to be the mooring for another person's life raft.