Dating After Divorce

Getting divorced is one of the most difficult things any adult can experience. After being together for years, separating physically and emotionally from another person can be uniquely painful. However, you may eventually consider dating after the divorce is concluded. If you are considering dating after getting a divorce, remember several important things to make things go well.

Take Your Time

Don’t rush things after a divorce. It’s normal to long for a physical and emotional connection in your life. But starting to date too quickly after a divorce can lead to problems. Consider working on yourself and don’t jump into another serious relationship too quickly. Getting used to being alone for a few months or years may be better before dating. 

Be Honest

Be honest with anyone you plan to date. You don’t need to share all the details of a recent ugly divorce, but being upfront about what you are looking for in a partner can be useful. If you are simply looking for people to hang out with and don’t want a serious relationship now, make sure your dating partners understand this.

Wait Before Introducing New Partner 

If you have children, you should wait a while before introducing them to anyone you are dating. Research suggests that it is usually better for children to assess how they are doing post-divorce before introducing them to someone new. Being purposeful about when a new partner can meet the kids can enhance your relationship with the new person. 

Wait Until It’s Final 

It’s smart to wait to start dating until the divorce is final. It can be difficult to understand what you want and need while the wounds from the divorce are fresh. You can end up with someone who is ultimately not ideal if you move too soon. 

Understand What Went Wrong

You should clearly understand what happened in your previous marriage and where things went amiss. Understanding how things went wrong can give you clues about what you want and need in a new partner. For instance: 

• Did you and your ex often disagree about money? Was one of you a big spender and the other thriftier? Money issues are common in failed marriages, so you should ensure a new partner thinks similarly about money and finance. 
• Were there disagreements about work and home duties? Perhaps one of you worked, and the other stayed home. Perhaps there was an imbalance in who cared for what around the home. If you want to share home duties equally in your new relationship, your partner must know that. 
• Was infidelity a problem in the marriage that led to divorce? If your spouse cheated on you, unresolved feelings of distrust could affect your new relationship. 

Summary

There is life after divorce, and many people who divorce eventually move on to other relationships. Remember these important dating tips so you can move forward with confidence in the future.